Why I Believe - Part 2 - The Priesthood

Part one of this series can be found here.

Everyone knows I'm a Mormon. Seriously, everyone. There have been several times when missionaries have told me that some person they met on the street, usually a person I barely even know, has told them they know me. Even more often, I get messages from people saying they've offered the missionaries a glass of water/paid for their ice cream/not slammed a door in their faces/smiled at them on my behalf. (Thanks, guys!) 

What I don't think so many people know is why I believe. (Usually asked as "why I gave up sweet tea and frappes.") The simple answer is that it's true and it's changed my life - but that's not the answer anyone wants. What they want to hear is more complicated, and I can be hesitant to share those details at a holiday dinner or in the middle of the market. I'm more than happy to share in other settings, but most people don't want to come join my Sunday school class or schedule a 45 minute discussion. 

So, I've picked 5 principles of the gospel - basic things Mormons believe - that contribute the most to my personal testimony. Mormons believe a lot more than just this, most of it exactly the same as any other Christian church, but these are 5 things that I feel most strongly tie my beliefs to this specific church. 

The Priesthood

The priesthood is the power and authority of God to act in His name for the benefit and salvation of His children.

In my church, almost every man has been ordained to hold the priesthood. However, this doesn't mean that all those men are pastors or preachers as other churches think of "the priesthood," nor does it mean that women aren't able to access the priesthood power.

The priesthood is most commonly thought of in relation to priesthood ordinances such as baptism, blessing and passing the sacrament (communion), and giving priesthood blessings. Those ordinances can only be performed by those individuals who have been ordained to hold the priesthood. Additionally, one who holds the priesthood has no access to its power when he isn't worthy to do so. The powers of Heaven can only be used upon the principles of righteousness (D&C 121:34-45).

That same power is also available to anyone authorized to do God's work, regardless of whether they've been ordained to hold the priesthood, so long as they're worthy. I've seen that power magnified in my own life countless times as I've worked to fulfill my callings and serve the people around me.

My testimony of the priesthood is strong, and it's grown over time. For a while, I struggled greatly with the idea that imperfect and sometimes willfully cruel or negligent human beings can wield the power and authority of God. It amazes me that He trusts anyone with that gift, but I know that He does, and I'm forever grateful.

My testimony of the priesthood is mostly based on the miracle of priesthood blessings. A priesthood blessing is when one who holds the priesthood lays his hands upon someone in need of healing, comfort, or counsel and gives voice to the blessing Heavenly Father wants that person to hear. We believe that the words spoken during priesthood blessings are inspired by God and the Holy Ghost.

Just this week, I received a priesthood blessing because I was ill and needed to leave the Girls Camp where I was serving as a leader. As soon as two priesthood holders laid their hands on my head and began to speak, my soul felt lightened. I felt the Holy Ghost pour into me, assuring me of the things I most needed to know.

Another priesthood blessing that will always stand out in my memory is one of the many I received from the missionaries during my last semester of college. I became violently ill during the priesthood session of our church's semiannual General Conference - a time when everyone who holds the priesthood was engaged in a worship service set aside to spiritually uplift and nourish them. I felt bad for drawing them away, but I sent a text to several of my missionary friends. Two of them responded right away and came to give me a blessing.

Earlier that day, I had felt that I should ask a certain missionary for a blessing, but I'd hesitated to do so. It just so happened that the one who dropped everything to come help me was the same person. As he spoke, I knew not only that I truly needed to hear the exact words he had to say, but also that he personally had no idea what was happening in my life that made them so needed. The things he said weren't easy to hear, but I have no doubt they were inspired by God because He knew everything on my mind.

Priesthood blessings such as those have carried me through many difficult days in the past five years. I couldn't tell you how many I've received, but I've been touched by and grateful for each and every one. It's a tremendous blessing (HA!) to be able to hear the words Heavenly Father wants me to hear spoken aloud. I've never been blessed with miraculous physical healing, and I neither expect nor want to be. What I have been blessed with is the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows and loves me, that Christ is with me in all of my mortal trials, and that the power of God is always accessible to me.

We don't usually take photos of priesthood ordinances being performed, so all I have is stock images provided by lds.org. I am neither a beautiful young mother nor a sick little boy. 

What we did for mutual... "Let the Holy Spirit Guide"

It's been SO HARD to find ideas for youth activities for my teeny tiny branch! Now that I feel like I'm starting to get into the swing of things, I decided to start sharing what we've done each time to help out anyone else planning mutual activities for small groups.

When I'm planning an activity, I try to guess how many people will be there, but the truth is that we could have just one youth or ten. Luckily, our wonderful missionaries and branch presidency are willing to join in on the fun!

Last week, our activity was a classic blindfolded obstacle course. The branch president's wife helped set up chairs in our "multipurpose room" and the youth took turns wearing a blindfold and walking through the course. I tried not to give too many instructions because I like to see what happens naturally in this game.

The rules: 

• One person acts as the "Holy Ghost" and stands behind the ribbon, giving verbal instructions only 
• For an extra challenge, specify that they can only say the words "left," "right," "backwards," and "forwards" 
• Those who know those words in another language can easily differentiate who their "Holy Ghost" is among all the voices in the room because that's the only person speaking Spanish or Chinese 
• The person walking through the course must be blindfolded before entering the room 
• Others are told that they're "allowed" to create distractions (they get really into it) 
• For added intensity, assign one person to be the "adversary" actively trying to discourage those walking through 
• Warning: This can get really intense, so be prepared to step in if it becomes too overwhelming 
• Challenge mode: If the person walking through the course bumps into anything, he or she has to start over 
• Challenge mode: Have multiple people go through the course at once (with or without a separate "Holy Ghost" for each) 

One of my favorite things about this activity is that the spiritual lessons to go along with it are created naturally, as the youth (or YSAs, or even missionaries) interact with one another. You'll notice principles you can point out on your own, but here are two things that I've used when leading the game with different groups.

FIRST: The "Holy Ghost" has to stay behind the ribbon, but the person going through the course can go as close to it or as far from it as they want, even crossing under the line to stand right beside it. All of the distractions and the "adversary" can move around the room however they want, standing right in front of the "Holy Ghost" and trying to mimic its voice or climbing on chairs to whisper in the person's ear.

This is symbolic of how we have to be receptive to the spirit, and how the more we listen and act on its promptings, the easier it is for us to receive additional guidance and filter out negative voices. When we're far from the spirit, it can be hard to tell whether the promptings we receive are of the spirit, but as we draw closer to it and become experienced in obeying, it's easier to discern.

SECOND: Never before have I seen the people doing this actually band together to help each other. Sure, most of the time they were creepily whispering in each other's ears about how they couldn't possibly succeed and the "Holy Ghost" was going to lead them astray, but there was a cool moment where they helped each other too.

Heavenly Father didn't send us to go through the trials of mortality alone - he gave us each other. Sometimes we fall into unexpected traps and get boxed in by the negative distractions in life, and even with the Holy Ghost guiding us, it can be tough to get out. That's why it's important to have friends and family to help us find our way back to the path - or even move a few obstacles if needed.

I love this activity because it's easy, spiritual, and can be adjusted to fit a group of any size, and the youth love it because it's active and fun. Throw in some brownies afterwards, and it's always a winner.

When You're Asked to Do What's Hard

Earlier today, I had lunch with the new missionaries in my branch. We talked about the youth and worked on our summer plan for youth Sunday school and mutual. And I felt so. dang. inadequate.

Lately, I feel that way a lot. I know I'm where Heavenly Father wants me to be, serving in the callings He wants me to perform, but I feel like I'm not good enough. It's been a very humbling year.

One of the quotes I clung to in my last two callings was Elder Maxwell's "God does not begin by asking about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability." And it worked for me then.

I put as much time and effort into my callings as I could, and I saw Heavenly Father move mountains in me. Things didn't go perfectly -- there were activities that flopped, investigators who flaked, friends who fell away from the church and felt they couldn't be friends with me anymore because I gave the church so much of myself, one whole semester when hardly anyone came to institute. But overall, I felt productive. I felt like God was using me to make a difference.

This time... not so much.

I'm trying to be a good leader, teacher, and friend to the youth, but have I really been giving it my all? No. Not like I did before. So of course the miracles aren't the same. I frequently have the thought that I want to improve. I want to give more of myself to these callings. But I'm not sure where to even begin.

When I talk about this with my friends, they sometimes say that some callings are just hard and unpleasant. I believe that (please not primary, never primary), but I'm not willing to give up on this one, writing it off as a "bad experience" or "too hard." I love my little branch. I love the little group of teenagers who are trying to live a better life in the midst of a society that says their morality is immoral.

I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to begin to do the things that I should be doing. But I do know that I want to do better, and that Heavenly Father asked me to do it because He knows I can.

There has to be a way, if I can just figure out where to start.

Sometimes

Sometimes I see all the posts where people tell their stories about what others have done to them, and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong by not writing one. I feel less alone when I read them, while also being horrified by just how many there are. It's a strange thing to scroll through an advocacy website and realize I know three of the women brave enough to show their faces with their stories. Three.

Yet none of the stories I've seen have been about a situation like mine. I wonder if I owe it to all the disabled women of the world, ridden with guilt for being a burden and not believing they can live a better life. I survived. I let myself be convinced that I didn't deserve what was done to me. I learned to believe that I don't ever have to accept being treated badly, even by the people who care for me. I finally know in my heart as well as my mind that I deserve to be treated well. Nobody can ever earn the right to hurt me by helping me with the things I can't do.

I know there are women with disabilities being abused by their caregivers, relatives, and friends right now. I know many of them believe that they deserve it for being a burden. I know many of them think they can't live without the help their abusers give them. I've been there. I know.

I wish I could reach out to every one of those women and tell them their worth. I wish I could tell them all that they're daughters of God and testify to them of just what that means. I wish I could put my hands on each of their shoulders and tell them that not only can they survive without the people who hurt them, their days would be so much brighter without them. I wish I could tell each and every one of them that no matter how many well-meaning strangers in the grocery store tell them how lucky they are to have their abusers in their lives, it's not true.

Someday I might tell the story of what was done to me, but I'm not ready yet. What I will tell, to everyone who will listen, is the story of what's been done for me.

We all have our personal Gethsemanes, but not a one of us is alone there. He who went there before us also goes there with us. And just like Him, we can leave those trials behind and move on to better things.

Why I Believe - Part 1 - Premortal Life

Everyone knows I'm a Mormon. Seriously, everyone. There have been several times when missionaries have told me that some person they met on the street, usually a person I barely even know, has told them they know me. Even more often, I get messages from people saying they've offered the missionaries a glass of water/paid for their ice cream/not slammed a door in their faces/smiled at them on my behalf. (Thanks, guys!) 

What I don't think so many people know is why I believe. (Usually asked as "why I gave up sweet tea and frappes.") The simple answer is that it's true and it's changed my life - but that's not the answer anyone wants. What they want to hear is more complicated, and I can be hesitant to share those details at a holiday dinner or in the middle of the market. I'm more than happy to share in other settings, but most people don't want to come join my Sunday school class or schedule a 45 minute discussion. 

So, I've picked 5 principles of the gospel - basic things Mormons believe - that contribute the most to my personal testimony. Mormons believe a lot more than just this, most of it exactly the same as any other Christian church, but these are 5 things that I feel most strongly tie my beliefs to this specific church. 

Pre-mortal Life 

One of the easiest ways of explaining our core beliefs is through the Plan of Salvation. Simply put, it's the roadmap to our lives, focused on Heavenly Father's plan for the salvation of His children. The first point I want to talk about is the first point on the map: pre-mortal life. 

Where did I come from? Why am I here? 

Each of us is made up of both a physical body and a spirit, or soul. Our spirits were created by Heavenly Father long before the creation of our physical bodies. Until our spirits and our bodies were joined, we lived with our Heavenly Father. We knew him well, and we also knew one another. Everything was pretty much hunky-dory. 

Like any good parent, Heavenly Father wanted to see His children maximize our potential. During our pre-earth life, He taught us as much as we could understand, preparing us for everything that would come next. There were some things, though, that we just couldn't understand for ourselves until we had the opportunity to leave our Father's presence and experience mortality. So, life happens. 

This is obviously a huge simplification, and if you want to know more of what we believe, I'd be happy to explain. 

The concept of pre-earth life is one of the first things that drew me to this faith. It just makes sense to me. When I was learning the gospel, there were a lot of things that felt familiar, like I really already knew them and I was just now being reminded. There have been people in my life who I've met and felt like I've known them for ages, especially my sister. 

The notion of having existed premortally and having chosen to live this life also helps answer a lot of questions I've always struggled with in other denominations, like why some people are born with disabilities and other handicaps like extreme poverty. The main answers to those questions that I've gotten from other religions seem to be (1) stuff just happens to certain people for no reason, (2) some people are pre-destined to have less faith (or something) and thus are being punished in some way, or (3) we're all punished for Adam's sin. (That's a whole other can of worms.) 

Learning that I lived as a spirit with knowledge of what trials I would face in this life, and that I agreed to them with faith in Christ to redeem me from them, answered those questions I had wrestled with for my entire life. 

My belief in the doctrinal principle of pre-mortal existence is so strong that I simply can't imagine believing in any religion that doesn't teach it. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves me perfectly. I know that I once knew Him well, although my memory of Him has faded. I know that my personality, inclinations, and spiritual gifts were formed before I ever took a breath, and that I inherited divine qualities from God just as I inherited physical traits from my mother and father. I know there's a purpose to this life for all of us, and there's a specific purpose for my life as well. 

I don't have to seek those answers from studying and interpreting the scriptures on my own, although they're there, and neither did I have to rely on the word of any priest. These are things that I've come to know to be true through prayer and witnesses from the Holy Ghost. 

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