What comes next? Not a clue.

After five (sort of six) years of college, I'm the proud owner of two undergraduate degrees. (Woohoo!) 

The rational question, and thus the one I get asked approximately 50 times a day, is "What are you doing next?" 

I wish I had an answer to that, I really do. 

Right now, I have a pretty cool part-time job doing GIS analysis -- AKA "what I majored in, like maps and stuff" -- for a small business here in Morgantown. I'm enjoying it, but it doesn't provide the income I need to justify staying here long-term... and truth be told, I feel like it's time for me to move on. 

Over the past year or so, I've felt pulled in a whole bunch of different directions. Washington. Arizona. Utah. A different part of Arizona. Philadelphia (please no). Utah then Arizona. 

Every time, I've obediently thrown myself into going where I think I need to go. (Even when it's Provo.) And every time, it's stopped feeling right. I am pretty familiar with that feeling. (See also, that time I almost served a mission.)

I've prayed. I've fasted. I've gotten about a dozen blessings. (Okay, not specifically for that, but still.) I've prayed some more. Nada. I know Heavenly Father is there and that He cares what happens to me, but He doesn't seem too driven to tell me where to spend the next X months of my life. 

Meanwhile, I've been sick. Like, lost-track-of-how-many-times-I've-been-in-the-ER sick. For a few months there, I worried that I wouldn't be healthy enough to do much of anything after college, but I've finally begun to feel better enough to consider a future beyond the walls of my bathroom or the hospital. The persistent IV bruise on my left forearm is healed up and everything. Hallelujah. 

So, between being sick and not getting any crystal clear personal revelation, I've had a tough time figuring out what it is that God would have me do, or even what I would have me do. I still don't know.

As of today, I'm cautiously pursuing the idea of moving to Utah for a few months and then maybe Tucson. I don't have any compelling or even interesting reasons. I know exactly 0 people who will be in Tucson, and not a whole lot more than that in Orem. All I know is that Morgantown isn't the place for me to live out the rest of my life, so I might as well go somewhere else and see what happens. Baby steps, I guess, like stepping into the fog. 

I don't love the fog, but I love what happens when I continue moving forward.