When everyday moments become #wheelchairprobs

I love me a good greeting card.

I give cards to the missionaries for every occasion I can think of... 

Good-bye cards when they get transferred far away,

Housewarming cards when they get transferred across town,

Baby shower cards when they find out they're training,

Graduation or retirement cards when they go home, 

Birthday cards for click days and baptism anniversaries,

Silly glitter-filled cards when I decide they need to laugh more.

Elder Fidel strikes back.

I'm a card person. (Also, a glitter person. No apologies.)

Finding the perfect card for a missionary isn't easy, though.

It would be a whole lot easier if Hallmark made a "humor" line of their ministry appreciation cards. 

Here's how the process of finding a great missionary card usually goes: 

• Enter greeting card store 
• Smile apologetically to frazzled employee who knows what a wheelchair can do in a gift shop
• Read ALL the cards in the appropriate section 
• If any of them have a unicorn on them, buy them on the spot 

• Discard anything depicting cigarettes, butts, or drinking (unless it's a 21st click-day card!) 
• Almost back into a grandma picking out a wedding card
• Discard anything that's overly sappy (I want to make them cry with my words... and glitter) 
• Having discarded them all, read them all again 
• Pick out the 4-5 funniest "clean" cards 
• Glare at them for not being perfect #thestruggleisreal 
• Remind myself that they're only going to glance at this thing for 30 seconds
• Knock over a display, or at least a few cards 
• Make accidental eye contact with that same frazzled employee
• Grab a card at random, pay for it as quickly as possible, and flee the scene

This is how I got myself kicked out of a Hallmark store. (Disclaimer: Not today.) The bull in a china shop is really a wheelchair in a gift shop, y'all. 

True story.